Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Feeling a bit overwhelmed...


It WILL all get done, we WILL get on that plane to go get Owen, despite the many things that need to still get done. I must say I feel less stressed than when we went to go get Emma, or "pick me up" as she likes to say. I am taking time to just BREATHE and soak up the fact that I have a baby boy in China, waiting for me. My laundry's done, most of the stuff on my list is accomplished, it is just pulling it all together, and it's not worth a migraine. Inhale, exhale. God, can't do this without you. Lloyd's message from this weekend was amazing. He ended it with a scuba tank on his back, recalling his experience diving with his brother and how he was reminded to breathe. We all need to breathe, not the toxic things (OK, I have had way too much caffeine and too many m & m's today!)...stress, worry...but just resting in the fact that God has the details under control. I even got confirmation that our visa 37 cable was sent to the consulate today! The rest is going to fall into place, too. Breathe, Ann. Get ready to spend time with your family and go love on that little guy.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Don't Stop Believin'

So we're in Target tonight...checking out the flatware. Emma is her usual happy self, singing in the cart. The store is more empty than usual because it's kind of late. She's singing with a passion, lots of emotion and lilt to her sweet five year-old voice: "Don't stop believ-in', hold on to that feel-in', street light pee-ple....." She's really going for it, absent-mindedly eyeing the spoons I'm thinking about adding to our collection because somehow ours keep walking off. There are probably some, oh, I don't know, up under Sophie's bed...sigh...it's just $5.99 for six, Ann. Just do it. Then I hear some people chuckling over in the dollar aisle. Yes, they are just getting a major kick out of the miniature Steve Perry in the back of my cart. I smile, they smile, remark how she's just too cute. She scrunches down a bit, slightly embarrassed, and by the time we are to the next aisle, she's launched into Taylor Swift. That's my girl. Always a song in her heart. This isn't the first time she's charmed someone by singing her heart out as we are rolling along in a store. A girl after my own heart. I remember not long after we came home from China, holding that baby and just rocking her and singing to her for a good hour sometimes. STILL wouldn't go to sleep in her own bed after that, but I guess the music fed her little heart. She was a singer from the very beginning. LOVE that about her. Wonder if Owen will be a music lover? His Auntie Lisa sent him a darling long-sleeved T-shirt that looks like it has an iPod in the pocket and ear buds hanging around his neck...it says "Music Lover". I flipped. Sweet. We will soon find out! Leaving for China in four more sleeps!!! (that's assuming I sleep!)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Bank account OPEN, Shop Vac ON...

Jeff called me yesterday and said, "Are you up for going to Lowe's still? Cuz' I haven't spent enough money yet today." Paid for part of our China trip today, have been van shopping, and of COURSE, after 7 years of living in this house, our dishwasher went out this week. So we went and plunked down another chunk of change to get a new one, because we can't bring home a baby and be washing bottles by hand (OK, yes, I know we could, I know how spoiled that sounds, but, BUT,...). So as we were waiting around in the appliance department I told Jeff how proud I was of him for how hard he had worked this last year (major long hours and stress) that we could just go out and replace this broken appliance on top of everything else we are spending right now on the adoption, trying to buy a van, etc., and he said, "God is good. (pause) And we are spending all that goodness..." Sigh...it's only money. Feels kind of like we are living as our pastor Lloyd has suggested, with our hands open, to receive, and to let it flow back out...you know, in a giving sense. Um, Lloyd, didn't know it was gonna go to Lowe's. OK, but most of it IS going into the adoption. To flesh out that visual, his point is that if we live our lives in a posture of fists clenched, clinging tightly to everything we have, we are not open to receiving, and then giving. SO true.

Monday, May 18, 2009

OK, we really ARE coming, Owen!!!

We got the email today... "Concrete Travel Dates!" Now that's a lovely subject line! May 28 to June 11. The thing we were waiting on was an appointment with the Civil Affairs office in Hunan. Got it! Many Civil Affairs offices are hesitant to make appointments right now, some are denying them, and the China Centre for Adoption Affairs recently encouraged agencies to delay travel when there were several confirmed cases of swine flu. They've been very aggressive about containing it, however, so it appears that it's a go for us! We'll know more about flights and an itinerary possibly tonight still, or tomorrow. It's really happening! If I wake up in the middle of the night, that's it...I can't get back to sleep for all the racing thoughts: how will Owen react when he sees us? Will I know how to feed him with his as yet unrepaired palate? Will we bond easily, or heaven forbid, what will I do if he rejects me and only wants Jeff??? (This happened with one of the baby girls in Emma's group last time...and Emma was none too keen on anyone but me for the first couple days...of course I hardly remember that!) I know it will all be OK...there's just so much to think about, and so much to do! Oh yes, and a school year to finish up! But all the pieces, big and small, are coming together. Like it's all being Divinely orchestrated. Duh. Like, um, since the beginning of time??? Yep. God's just showin' off now. Now if you could just get me through to someone at the National Visa Center so I can be sure that they have our Visa 37 Cable in Guangzhou so that after all of this, Owen is allowed to immigrate to the U.S., that would be just super duper. I've tried twice tonight and they say I need to call back when a supervisor is available. :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Nothing personal, Wilbur...

...but I'm REALLY not liking the word "swine" these days. Got a travel update from our adoption agency that we could be delayed due to the latest in the swine flu saga...a case reported in mainland China. Everyone in contact with the person in quarantine, including an adoptive family and their guide, and this in Guangzhou (about an hour's train ride from Hong Kong) and where we need to go for our U.S. Consulate appointment. This is the last appointment needed in order to book our flights, and set up all the other appointments, but the consulate is understandably hesitant to confirm this appointment given the cost of having to cancel these flights, or worse yet, get there and quarantine us all. Sighhhhh. I know that from the beginning of time, God has known the precise moment Owen would be placed in our arms, and that this is not surprising or worrisome to him in the least. Um, it's rocking my boat a little, God. Just need some peace. Thanks. G'night.

Friday, May 8, 2009

TA Finally!!!!

I hate to say finally...we really haven't waited that long, but it has been an anxious wait due to the H1N1 (swine flu) virus. An extra declaration form for each of our visas was required, stating which countries/states we'd visited recently, and China is being very careful about inviting people over, understandably. Just like I wouldn't want to invite horribly sick folks into my home. But Owen needs to come home! We need to get his palate repair surgery done, start bonding and interacting and getting about the business of being a family! As Emma says, "We need to catch up with him so he'll be doing the right stuff!" Explanation: she was very confused as to why I would comment at bedtime, "Owen is getting up now and having breakfast," and in the morning, "Owen is going to bed now." Finally, I took our globe and a lamp and did the demonstration with her that I do with my third graders...here we are, Owen's over here, the sun is here, when the earth turns, he is asleep because see, it is dark there, but we have sun, blah blah blah. She GOT it! So now, Owen will be doing the right stuff, and "all those other babies will still be doing the wrong stuff." Such a little smarty pants! So, it is "almost definite" that we will leave on May 28th, and return between June 10th and June 12th (our anniversary!) We are coming, Owen!!!